How to pause in moments of change
Pausing, resting, taking time out has always been a struggle for me. I always have a notebook on me, scribbling ideas, thoughts, things to look up later. So that’s maybe why my next book (Another Door Opens) starts with pause, and the section that took the longest to research, write, nail. At one point it was maybe 30,000 words about pausing, that’s a very busy way of sharing the message we need to stop. I played with the idea of it just being one blank page. But that was probably a bit meta!
So in the end, to stop the exhaustion of trying to pause, I came up with the different ways we pause. That we all pause differently, we all need different kinds of rest. Finding your way of stepping back, recharging, reflecting is really important . We can’t just keep being busy, it’s not productive or healthy.
Here’s a little matrix to help get some ideas going.
Four ways to pause
There are four key ways we pause, each offering different benefits. Use these ideas to explore what kind of pause works for you and what you need right now.
1. The Silent Pause - This is a quiet moment with no distractions, just you and your thoughts. Whether it's a few minutes at the kitchen table or a silent retreat, the absence of noise can help reduce stress and improve focus. A 2013 study by Dr. Luciano Bernardi found silence lowered blood pressure more effectively than relaxing music (sad news for music lovers). If complete silence feels awkward at first, start small, then try 1 minute of sitting still, then three minutes, then 10 minutes. Just close your eyes and breathe and allow your thoughts to wander.
2. The Mindful Pause - Mindful pauses are intentional breaks that gently guide your thoughts elsewhere, through nature walks, creative hobbies, or even making a coffee. Psychologists Rachel and Stephen Kaplan’s Attention Restoration Theory suggests these activities help restore mental energy by shifting our attention from effortful focus to more passive observation. Look for activities that let your mind wander without creating tension, many use this as a first step into meditation.
3. The Mindless Pause - This one gets a bad rep, but don’t dismiss it, yes, we’re talking about scrolling your phone or binge-watching a series. Hands up, I go to Vinted for a good scroll when I need some time out. These low-effort activities can offer a break from overstimulation. A 2019 study found short bursts of social media use improved mood and relaxation, while other research shows watching TV can release endorphins. The key here is moderation, mindless pauses help when they’re kept in check.
4. The Structured Pause - Structured pauses are guided by questions, prompts, or frameworks, like journaling, coaching, or reading this very text. They encourage reflection and help shift the brain into a more introspective mode. A study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that guided reflective writing improved self-awareness and reduced mental clutter. These types of pauses can reveal insights and help reframe challenges. The 5 Steps Programme is an example of structured pausing, space to think in a framework.
Each pause serves a different purpose and works for you in a different way. Play with what works for you, when you need it, how you need it. We all pause in different ways, in different moments. It’s about knowing that ‘pausing’ is an important part of navigating change well.
What kind of pause do you need today?