The power of ‘F**k you’

We’ve all had that feeling. Something happens and we have bad thoughts.

When you lose your job you might have a few bad thoughts about what has happened. I’m not saying you are thinking this. At all. Of course you are probably feeling ok about it. And not thinking bad thoughts about being made redundant at all. Probably.

But I’m just saying maybe. Maybe you are feeling a bit angry, frustrated, shocked. And not very happy with the people and organisation who ‘did’ this to you.

You might be spending energy getting cross about how you have been treated, telling everyone about it, writing angry emails to them, feeling frustrated with it all.

It’s frustrating. It’s exhausting. And it’s soul destroying.

And you are wasting your energy.

It’s not helping you.

It’s not that they don’t care, but they have moved on. If there even is a ‘they’.

Your (ex) manager is as scared as you are about the future, the (ex) bosses are now thinking P&Ls and shareholder expectations, your (ex) customers are thinking about their new relationships being created . They’ve moved on.

And so you need to as well.

But it’s not as simple as just ‘get over it’.

That anger and upset energy festers inside. It is your energy right now. It might even be keeping you going, Without the fight what do you have?

You shouldn’t ignore your feelings. They are real. They are part of your grieving process. You cant just push them to one side and ‘get positive’. So embrace your feelings but start to get that energy to work for you.

It’s time to redirect your energy.

It’s time to channel a bit of ‘f**k you’.

(In the nicest possible way of course!)

This isn’t about revenge. It might start out as a revengeful feeling. But it isn’t revenge.

“In taking revenge a ‘man is but even with the enemy, but in passing it over, he is superior” Francis Bacon

You think ‘Ill show you’ - when really there is no one to ‘show’.

You think ‘I’m better than all of this’ - you are right, you are.

You think ‘f**k this shit, lets do this’ - yes lets do this!

So do it, turn this into an opportunity. Show yourself what you are capable of, show yourself exactly what you can do.

“We forget: In life, it doesn’t matter what happens to you or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you’ve been given.” Ryan Holiday

Own this space

Make this into something so good it overshadows the hurt you are feeling.

Add into the mix of shock a pinch of hope. & a pinch of self belief that you can actually do this. That you are talented. That you have many things that the World needs. That you are hard working. That you contribute.

That this might be the moment you soar.

So F**k You ex employer. I’m out of here. It was a pleasure but now this is my time.

Watch me fly.

If you are feeling a little bit ‘f**k you’ – there is no judgement here. We all have capacity for a little bit of this feeling. But now it’s time to stop wasting energy on the past. On the door that is closing. Its time to convert that energy from pain, hurt, loss, to hope, possibility and knowing things are not only going to be ok, they are going to be better.

Start by stopping

Stop thinking about what’s happened, let go. Remember the good times. Remember all the brilliant stuff you did, the people you worked with. Celebrate the goodbye. And then close the door.

You are now in the space in-between, a door closing and the next door opening.

And each step you take to navigate through this space will determine what the next door you go through looks like. It’s not about volume of actions. This is about focused, intentional actions. Some days you may do nothing at all. Some days you maybe in flow and create many quality small steps.

You are now in control.

You are choosing. Choosing how you respond, where you put your energy. How you use all your talents and strengths to help you. Choose to take time to think about what you really want.

“Say f**k it and find courage to get know yourself” Jim C Parkin, author of F**k It – the ultimate spiritual way

Is it easy? No

Is it possible? Yes

Start to believe.

Ask yourself questions.

Ask others for help.

Try stuff.

Fail.

Get rejected.

Try again.

You can do this.

You can change from being ‘done to’ to owning this.

You can use all of that energy you are directing at the door that is closing, and you can redirect it towards the next door that will be created. And what a nicer place to be in a feeling of hope and opportunity, rather than despair and anger.

You can turn ‘fuck you’ to ‘fuck me - I’m famous’ (thank you David Guetta 😊 ).

Thank you for reading!

eleanor

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