Helen Hill, Creative Learning Wizard and Wellbeing Coach

“Never underestimate yourself, and do not believe what others say about you above your own beliefs.”

What was your 'Another Door' moment?

My story is actually of multiple doors being slammed – by my health and hospitals, employers, and even myself.

In 2010, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and two weeks later, with Degenerative Disc Disease. This had followed 16 months of repeatedly severe pain and losing vision in one eye but being told it was a migraine, and 5 years of my back repeatedly going – and unable to walk for days or weeks at a time.

Though after diagnosis my initial response was to sign up for a 100km bike ride through London at night (logical, right?) I rapidly went into health doom scrolling. Thanks to feeling ignored in my pleas for help before I finally got a diagnosis, I’d had to research a lot for myself and I had joined all the MS communities, but the problem with that is you mostly see the worst.

You see people pleading for help and answers when no-one is giving any, people asking whether others have had similar bad side effects to medication, people venting when they feel at their worst. People don’t generally tend to turn up on these platforms when at their best. So, all I could think about was how I was likely to end up in a similar situation – with advanced symptoms and probably even in a wheelchair in the next couple of years.

As someone who had always been active (I was an athlete in my youth and did every sport going, many competitively) this was a hell of a blow. I went into a spiral and my mood plummeted. A senior neurologist said he thought I would likely have an initial flurry of relapses and then have very little activity, so I was turned down for any treatment, but I just didn’t believe him. This felt like another blow. I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t do anything to help prevent progression, no matter what stage someone is at. It felt like a door had been well and truly slammed on my future, and there was no hope.

As I write this, I am one week away from marking 12 years since the MS diagnosis. And it turned out that neurologist was right. After an initial flurry of relapses, I had no major relapses for 7 years (though my back issue was a different story). Then 2022 saw the first sign of activity in my MS progression, and after months of pleading for help again, last week I started on disease modifying drugs in an attempt to halt further progression.

Though this has hit hard, it is incredible to see how well I have managed the condition for 12 years, and how there is a huge chance that I will never progress to that point I feared. The biggest challenge has been making others understand the difficulties of managing the conditions, especially the pain related to my spine, anxiety and niggly daily symptoms of MS. As they are invisible illnesses, and due to my determination to not let it get the better of me, the daily challenges I face are often not seen and in the past people have accused me of lying or exaggerating about it.

After years of this, I was at breaking point and another door was slammed in my face - I had to leave employment for the sake of my health and sanity.

What I couldn’t see at this point was how this was to become the best thing that happened to me.

Within 2 days of handing in my notice, I managed to secure my first full time contracting role and a few weeks in, I realised this was the right route for me.

The headspace, having more control, being able to work from home, and managing my day around my needs was a revelation. There was no going back for me, and I haven’t stopped since.

What did you learn from your Another Door moment?

I certainly learned a lot about myself – most notably that I am not broken.

That I’m not a failure (and all the other negative things I had been led to believe about myself).

That being myself is not a bad thing. I had been told for so long that I had no resilience (usually by the person that was beating it out of me), but I realise now I have it in truckloads.

I learnt a new way of working and lifestyle that worked for me. I learnt a that there are an amazing freelance community out there who work together, not as competition, and who have my back.

And as a result, I have achieved things I never even thought to try and pursue (hello, being an author and a book illustrator!) and even more exciting developments are on the way.

What is your advice to someone experiencing a door closing in their life?

Never underestimate yourself, and do not believe what others say about you above your own beliefs. Sometimes a certain way of working, or a specific workplace or role might not be right for you – but this doesn’t mean you are broken or a failure. And that thing you want – go for it! You might just surprise yourself.

More about Helen

I'm a multi-hyphened business owner: business coach, author, designer/illustrator, educator, podcaster and imperfect environmentalist. After a very squiggly career and 10 years of treating my business as a side hobby, I launched myself into full-time self-employment in 2018 and have never looked back. I own UnlikelyGenius™ Ltd, Falling Off The Ladder, and am a co-founder of the environmental initiative Be The Future. I built a thriving business within a year, saving my sanity and health in the process.

My book Falling Off The Ladder tells the story of that leap, how I did it and provides you with the tools to do it too. The book and podcast have made me realise just how much I love supporting other self-employed business owners and through my coaching, am now on a mission to help them thrive, make sure they don’t feel alone, and be a voice for the desperately needed change in workplace culture. I've been shortlisted for multiple freelance and business awards, featured on the 2021 ‘Top 40 Digital Women to Watch’ list and am an award winner for my contributions to industry journal ‘Communicator’. In an exciting development, my book received a HIGHLY COMMENDED in the Wellness & Wellbeing Category at the Business Book Awards 2022.

Find Helen here > https://www.fallingofftheladder.com/