Sara Stainsby, Owner Gymphobics Belper
‘Leap and the net will appear’
Background
30 years in corporate sales, mainly in automotive...leasing, rescue, windscreens, salvage and auctions, but a short 4 year sabbatical in recruitment.
As a teenager my career ambition was to join the RAF. I wanted to be an officer in the RAF Police but my dreams were dashed when I was told I needed to be at least 5’6”. At 19 years old I was clearly not going to grow another 4 inches! So I took the advice of the careers centre in Nottingham and signed up as a reservist in the Royal Auxiliary Air Force Regiment and shortly after landed my first sales job in contract hire. For the next 12 years these two jobs were fulfilled together... I had the best of both worlds. I found myself achieving in both spheres but more so in my part-time career, reaching the rank of Sergeant at the age of 23 and receiving a commendation for services to the RAF in 1999.
I have worked for small businesses, small business units within large organisations and I’ve worked for large organisations. I’ve worked for companies that have been acquired and been on the acquiring side too, I’ve worked through huge cultural change. When I look back on my best years it’s been when a sales team needed to change its old habits in order to be strong for the future.
When were you made redundant?
Redundant is an interesting word, I’ve found myself in this situation 3 times and each time it’s not been a conventional redundancy. It’s been the kind where we all play nicely sign agreements and we all move on. But it’s worth saying that only one of the parties really just moves on initially. You begin to question yourself, are you really as good as some people say you are? You forget all the good things you’ve done and focus on what went wrong, because you begin to believe it’s your fault. The reality is the game has changed, maybe your face no longer fits or maybe it never really did. You have a stark realisation that you’re a commodity but it’ s rare that anyone is to blame. So since holding senior positions as a Sales Director I have actually come to expect that when there is a change and for whatever reason and I am no longer required that there will be a tap on the shoulder no matter how hard I work.
Perhaps because I had been through this twice I now believe I spent most of my time at my last employer looking over my shoulder waiting for that tap, I’d hoped it wouldn’t come but in June 2018 it did.
What did you do after you were made redundant?
I had a huge amount going on some of which probably clouded my judgement. My mum had Alzheimer’s and had to go into a home in Dec 2017 leaving my Dad in a bad place emotionally, my kids were just about to take their GCSE’s and after finishing them we’re going to Vietnam for a month. I was pretty emotional.
Initially I panicked and rang every recruiter I could think of, I messaged people on Linked In and then I just stopped. I decided to take a holiday while the boys were away and whilst there I started to think about what I wanted, or more what I didn’t want. All those recruiters, many I’ve known for years saying they want to help but nothing progressed, a huge network and no enquiries for your services. Recruiters can get bad press and sometimes its deserved but having worked in Recruitment many years ago its not an easy job; candidates don’t always do what you want them to and employers timescales drift as things change. What these people can do far better is communicate effectively and make their candidates feel more human and less like a commodity – after all we all know our employers have already put us on this track. This then serves a kind of affirmation to any self-doubt. A customer once referred to me as his ‘favourite Flesh Peddler’ while I was a recruiter, 6 months later I had moved back to contract hire!
How did you decide what to do next?
I had joined a ladies only gym, Gymophobics and I began thinking I could look into doing it myself. It’s a franchise so I did some fag packet maths and began to ponder. I pondered for about a month. Did I want to work for myself? Could I work for myself? Did I trust myself with those areas of running business that I’m pretty clueless at...finance for one.
I knew I had no more energy or confidence in looking for another sales directors role in an organisation that would perhaps give me 2-5 years. I felt that now in my 50’s that the risk of being used for just under 2 years and potentially being let go before the employer had any responsibility to me was just too great from a financial perspective but more so emotionally.
My confidence was pretty trashed in 2013, 2018 compounded that feeling so as part of my package I secured six counselling sessions which proved invaluable, and I have continued to go when the need arises.
So on 25th August I decided no more corporate treadmill, no more organisations who say they care but really are pretty brutal, no more politics or pandering to ideas and policies that suit someone else’s objectives and make yours virtually un-achievable. I have reflected on this point a fair bit because there is almost an expectation that if you hold a senior position in a company that you somehow don’t experience feelings of self-doubt, or you shouldn’t let on you feel that way and that you can just move on to the next role, you don’t need support and guidance. I was even told when I asked about a mentor once that at my level, I shouldn’t need one. My response is that everyone wants to continue to grow and learn and anyone who thinks they don’t need a sounding board and guidance is probably fooling themselves.
My parents had both worked for themselves and I planned to tell my dad the following weekend, I knew he’d fret but he’d be right behind me and he’d see my Mum in me. I never got to tell him. He had a heart attack on the Friday and we lost him. I knew I had to go through with it for him but now I really wanted to do it for me and to metaphorically stick two fingers up at those who had made me doubt myself so deeply.
I took a hard look at myself. I know I’m not the super intelligent commercial director that many organisations want. I can be very cautious particularly if I don’t have the full picture and there is financial risk for the business. I know I have exceptional people skills that are apparent when I build teams up, I know I can come across as tough and scary but I also know that pretty much everyone who has worked for me knows I am fair and I put my team first.
So after many years in corporate, and in a very male dominant environment I opted to move into a Business 2 Consumer role with women only...now that will be a test!
What would be your advice to anyone who has just been made redundant?
Take time to understand your feelings, if you can get access to counselling within your package take it even if you don’t think you need it. A good one will help you see it’s not you despite all the doubt the little devil on your shoulder is heaping on you. I was told think of when your shopping for jam; how do you chose the flavour, what level of cost, the quality and then tell yourself perhaps they didn’t want strawberry just now. It helps you dehumanise what has happened to you. If you have been with a company for a long time it can be like grief and if it’s not managed can cause longer term challenges - like I said I was constantly looking to over my shoulder waiting to be shot. I may have created a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Don’t rush into anything, especially if you have the luxury of a decent payment, it’s harder if there isn’t a good payout but still make sure your next move feels right.
Consider what has happened and split into segments, how do you feel about yourself, how do you feel about your employer, how do you feel about your boss & colleagues. What did you love or hate about your job / company/ boss / colleagues. Try to be really honest about this, the things you hate or worst the things you didn’t realise you hated are sometimes masked especially if you had a good salary and benefits.
Remember your work colleagues are rarely your true friends, when you’ve left they still have a job to do and their reason for calling you every day has suddenly disappeared. Some will stay in touch for a while, some may turn out to be true friends, but don’t be disappointed or bitter, it’s just life.
Make sure if your life has been your job from now on you have a separate personal life. This gives you a natural rest, people to sound off to who don’t know you at work and when or if things go wrong next time you’re support network is stronger
Age; do you remember when your career really started to move forward and you looked at some of those older folks in the business, the ones who seemed to disagree with all your new fresh ideas? The ones you secretly wanted to shout ‘move over I’m coming through’ to. Well we all turn into to those older people being seen as blockers to those coming up behind us. Just smile – they’ll be in the same position in 15 or 20 years.
There is always something around the corner, there may be difficulties to manage but you are the master of your own destiny, you create your own luck. And as Julie Hesmondhalgh who played Hayley in Coro said the other day in the radio when asked if she was scared about leaving corro after 16 years ‘Leap and the net will appear’