Guest Blog: "Three things I didn't know about being made redundant that aren't talked about"
Guest blog by Anon
There are three things I didn’t know when being made redundant that I’ve not heard anyone talk about. There are more than three things I didn’t know clearly, but my point is that these are three things I never heard anyone mention. The first two are lighter, maybe contemporary topics. The third one is a more anxious issue.
Your feet get soft when you stay at home (working or otherwise)
The first one I spotted was that freelancing, working from home, or just being out of work, makes your feet soft. Yes, that’s right, it’s not a metaphor, it’s just a fact – your feet, they get soft.
You won’t notice this until it’s too late. And when it’s too late, you’ll wish you’d noticed it sooner. You’ll spend most of your day working in slippers or softer sneakers or slip-ons. Some may occasionally go barefoot, you rebels you. There will though be a time when you must slide back into a pair of smarts, your corporate lace-ups or heels, whether that’s for an interview in the city, or even just a night out and you want to wear something smarter. Even after just a couple of weeks of slipper heaven, your feet will start to complain after a couple of hours of wearing those shoes you have previously been very comfortable in, and by the end of the day you will be blistered and uncomfortable.
I am meaning this literally, but on reflection, you can also use it as a metaphor to look at the other routine changes that make you soft, and when it is typically a time you need to be at your toughest and hungriest. Ah, that leads us nicely on to number two…
2. Working from home can affect your weight.
My corporate lunch box was made up of fruit, usually grapes, berries, an orange, banana and apple. Supplemented by seeds and nuts, dried fruit occasionally and a healthy protein bar. The worst part of my old corporate snack bag were the sandwiches, which, with bread, made them unhealthy. Sometimes they even had cheese. Worst case, the snack bag had crisps. The bag was made the night before, and sometimes it was made with love for me. Working from home I have cheese on toast, or a tin. Crisps are my new best friend. Nice. I have put on a stone, unexpectedly.
The extra weight probably impacts the feet too thinking about it. It hasn’t helped that I sit sedentary at the laptop, scared to leave the keyboard, posting, chasing jobs, trying to make things happen. I feel guilty when leaving the house, I still think someone is going to call me up and say “Hey, shouldn’t you be working, get back to it!”. I realise I have been institutionalised; I’m working that out. In any case, I can’t leave the house, my feet hurt.
3. It gets complicated when it comes to child support (yes, a bit more serious, feet get softer, life gets a bit harder)
The third thing is slightly more serious, and really caused anxiety at a time I (the family) didn’t need it. I don’t think I’m too unusual in that I am divorced, a long time ago now, with a sixteen-year-old son from that relationship. My long-term partner and I also have two children together. We’ve been a good family together for many years. On hearing of my upcoming redundancy, I kept my ex-wife up to date with progress, simply because I had happily been paying maintenance for my son, and once the income stopped, the maintenance would have to stop. An unhappy fact. I was met with understanding, and even sympathy of the situation. All until the job had gone, and the money had to stop. Then I got a solicitor’s letter, a threaten of court action unless I continued to pay, and an unhappy journey with the Child Maintenance Service – all the day after, despite an agreement.
The solicitors were easily dealt with. Facts were facts, the situation was the situation. The CMS less so. Who knew that a P45 wasn’t a strong enough piece of evidence to show you’d left your job?
Now, I don’t think my situation is unusual – on realising redundancy was definite, I did what I think many others do – I set myself up to go contracting. I set up a Ltd company for IR35 and started to try and market for work, both self-generated work as well as straightforward contracting too. This is where the nightmare started.
Not only did I get told that a P45 isn’t strong enough to say I’d left my last place of employment, they had to call my previous employers ‘to check’. Plus write to them too of course #embarassing. Then they suggested the HMRC were telling them I had another employment and they could not understand why I was doing self-assessment, so I must have. HMRC were brilliant by the way, they laughed when I told them. This was after sharing bank statements to show I had only ever received the income from my previous employment, my tax return, my P45 and P60 (again). To prove it though, I also had to ask my accountant to write a letter saying that was the case #embarassing.
The worst moment came, at 23:45 one evening in April, the night before a big interview, when the CMS emailed (Yes, at that time! I have learned not to check my phone now for emails that pop up late) to say that after all the evidence I’d sent, they still thought I was in employment and so had to continue paying. I sat up that night worried senseless, instead of focusing on my interview. That was April, I was made redundant in January, it’s now June, and I’m still waiting on their deliberations.
I was anxious at first, I truly want to pay maintenance, it’s the right thing to do. But I have no income - and if we were still married then there would be no income coming in, so there can’t continue to be now we’re not. Plus, my family is larger now, and I must protect everyone, not just one.
After the anxiety I got angry, and have persistently challenged the CMS, and appealed each of their strange decisions. Despite the stress, one of the things I turned to, to pick up this fight, was the hunger and toughness I set out knowing I’d need when the redundancy was going through. What I found interesting was there was nowhere I could turn to for support as a dad. No understanding or realisation that without an income you can’t pay maintenance – despite the legislation being clear.
If you’re approaching this situation, prepare yourself for it mentally, the understanding of self-employment/contracting isn’t there in the CMS (it is in HMRC though). You can help yourself by making sure you keep all your pieces of evidence filed and to hand. Scan all documents so you can send them electronically to the CMS to save time and stress, and try not to be too embarrassed asking people for help in confirming sensible pieces of evidence – they are, strangely, used to it.
Don’t let it get to you either.
Just persistently keep appealing on the facts, and you should get there. You are suffering not because of something you are doing wrong, but because of those who have tried to fiddle it in the past (or that’s my rationalisation anyway).
I think I have that under control now, and I have my fingers and toes crossed that the income will start to flow soon anyway, and so remove the issue.
If only my feet didn’t hurt so much.
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