Dear Rebound, It's not you, it's me - it's time to move on
“Breaking up is never easy I know, but I have to go…” said Abba.
So you got made redundant. You went on a wild search to find another job. You found another job. You took that job. It’s now 6 months later and you aren’t feeling great. It’s time to break up with the Rebound job.
In a recent study 55% of people who found jobs within 3 months of being made redundant said they didn’t feel happy after the first year of their next role and had started to look for a new role or change in career.
When I talked to those who described this the biggest driver was fear, fear put them in that position, fear kept them in that position, but… fear was identified as one of the things that could also get them out.
Sarah shares her story, “I just felt trapped, again. I felt like I hadn’t moved on since being made redundant 16 months previously. In fact things felt worse. I’d taken a pay cut and the job wasn’t quite as challenging as Id hoped. But I had a moment. I was out for a walk one weekend and thought ‘this cant go on’. I started to fear that this was my life. I signed up to a social media course, studied on an evening, and within 3 months handed my notice and set up as a social media manager supporting local businesses. It was definitely the fear of staying in that cycle that scared me more than fear of leaving a safe job”
““ ‘I am here’ she replied. ‘I come in everyday and do my job, but I don’t feel anything. Don’t become me’ “ In Ruth Kudzi’s book Is This It?, she re-encounters a colleague, who she looked up to, sharing her sadness at her feeling of being trapped. ”
The feeling of being trapped can happen at anytime, you may have been happily going to and from work, same routine everyday for years, never giving it much thought… absorbing all energy into the latest project delay, product launch, exec brief - the important things in life (work).
Then one day, a small trigger, someone said something, someone did something, someone didn’t do something… it triggers a feeling - to quote Ruth ‘Is this it?… ‘ Really, this is my life, dealing with this crap’.
If you are still at work when this happens, now is the time, start that side project, start that evening course, start that blog… start to build your future.
If the jolt of redundancy has released that feeling, that feeling you’ve been suppressing, hiding, suffocating under busy inboxes and paperwork, then pay attention to that feeling, and let it be heard.
It’s ok if you find yourself in a Rebound job.
You have to trust, things happen at the right time for you. A rebound job might feel like it was a bad decision, so remind yourself, it was the right decision at that moment in time.
Progression isn’t linear… it has curves and twists and loops, loops that often make it feel like you are going backwards, not forwards. If you are on your progression curve then even the back track loop is still moving, it will get you there. Small steps, small curves, small twists…
When you get made redundant, especially if you weren’t expecting it, your mind is playing catch up with your circumstances. Everything you have been investing your mind bullions in is now at question, turns out your investment returned little value. All that investment in worrying about what your boss will think of your proposal, frustration about your budget constraints, effort in solving a problem for a team member, all that mind investment… suddenly feels small. So it’s understandable that you don’t want to loose that investment, its logical that you want to find another opportunity to continue to use that investment, that energy, the Rebound job is inevitable.
So, it’s time to break up with the Rebound. It’s time to move on. It feels exciting, it’s the right thing to do… but there is still so much fear.
It might be the worry about how it looks on LinkedIn or your CV, how it will come across at an interview… ‘what will people think when they see I’ve only been in a job a few months, should I hide it, should I stay longer so that I have more of a story to explain?’ . Your mind is giving you a whole lot of issues and chatter.
Well, here is what I think. Most people who are recruiting don’t really care about your back story. It’s ‘sort of’ useful to find out who you are, it is ‘sort of’ an indicator of what you can do but lets be honest… the recruiter wasn’t there, you could be making the whole thing up. What most recruiters are looking for is an attitude, an aptitude and an appetite to succeed in future, a triple AAA student. So don’t over think it, get on with it, put all your energy into making you a success for your future.
And, if you are starting up a business, or going freelance, then people definitely don’t care. They only care what you will do for them, how you can help them, how you can contribute to their success.
Look around you, you will start to see examples of successful people who aren’t letting their past get in the way of their future.
Rebound, you’ve served your purpose, it’s now time to move on. Breaking up is never easy, but you have to go.
(Resisting the temptation to put ‘Knowing me, knowing you, is the best we can do…’ )
I’ll stop now. It’s all getting a bit Alan Partridge!
Eleanor
Another Door helps people become unstuck, discover new possibilities and unlock career fulfilment.